| By
Emma Snow
There’s something different about you.
People sense it the moment you walk in the door. Is it
in your smile, or the way wear your hair? Truly, there
are countless manifestations of your canine obsession.
Here are the top ten:
#10: Stray hairs on your clothes.
White hairs make a mess of your black wool
skirt, while black fur collects in tufts on your white
fleece pullover. You’ve spent a small fortune on lint
removers, but have finally given up. Shedding isn’t just
for the dogs anymore.
#9: Pockets full of old bread bags (or
mutt mitts).
Dog owners live by the Boy Scouts’ motto:
Be prepared. After all accidents do happen, even on Mr.
Smith’s meticulously manicured lawn. You’ll be ready when
they do.
#8: You whistle to call your dog...and
your kid.
In fact, you find it hard to distinguish
between the two. Your wallet, desk, and the wallpaper
on your Windows XP Desktop are packed with photos of Caesar.
#7: You’ve been caught on more than one
occasion talking to your dog as if he were a person.
You pause patiently while the dog “answers”
you. And you insist that he does answer!
#6: You like people your dog likes, and
hate those she hates.
Instead of your parent’s approval, your
dates must win Muffy’s favor. This has made dating almost
impossible for you, since Muffy tends to be jealous of
anyone who takes your attention away from her.
#5: You give out gifts that your dog
“bought,” and sign cards from you and your dog.
Having given up on teaching Buford how
to hold a pencil, you now ink up his paw to leave his
print. Unfortunately he got away before you could wash
it off, and now there’s a line of permanent black paw
prints across the linoleum in the kitchen.
#4: You greet dogs by their names, but
can’t remember the names of their owners.
“Dude” and “Ma’am” seem to work well in
a pinch.
#3: You sleep huddled in the far corner
of your bed while your dog sprawls out in the middle.
You don’t even mind when she snores, drools
on your pillow, and steals the blankets.
#2: Your phone is programmed to speed
dial the vet, groomer, dog trainer, pet store, and kennel.
What’s more, the clerks can identify you
by your voice.
#1: On Christmas, instead of cookies,
you bake doggie biscuits.
You have a recipe file of Princess’s favorite
kinds, and make plates to deliver to all her doggy friends.
Incidentally, she gets more presents than you do, and
the ones you do get seem conspicuously related to dogs.
About the Author
Emma Snow is a prolific writer and writes for Dog Pound
http://www.dog-pound.net
and Wildlife Animals http://www.wildlife-animals.com
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Dog Pound
